There are two types of people in the world; Nigerians, and others. We’re special like that.
It’s only in Nigeria that you’ll call home and the first thing you ask is,
And then the next thing you’re like,
Because you know the next thing is to use Almighty Formula to calculate when NEPA will bring light.
We can go and on.
A Nigerian that doesn’t know how to lounge and relax, what type of Nigerian is that one?
Like, why else is there traffic on Saturday when everybody should be at home?
Turn up is a major key, and even when we can’t, the spoil-yourself-crazy option is always open. This is all you need; remote control in one hand, check. Food in the other hand, check! your eyes on the TV. Magic.
We know Nigerians don’t play with their TV time.
Remember those days when daddy is watching The Network News and you’re making noise.
Oya go and sleep!
And then you beg him and say sorry, and he’s like.
When ladies balance with Telemundo and Africa Magic like, everybody else runs to their phones like,
But when the boys grab the remote, Superspooort!
But deep down you know that the stakes are very very high for you *seals lips*
And of all the days, your team chooses to be useless on this day.
And just before half time, you wish you could enter the TV and teach the coach his job.
And it is also at this time all the terrible things could happen;
PHCN can decide to do their work,
And then your Cable TV decoder might just take forever to load like,
But the worst, your cable subscription should just expire suddenly.
But then you remember that you can just go to Quickteller.com and renew sharp sharp!
Like a boss.